More Thoughts...

Here are a few thoughts I've had the past few days. Maybe you can relate.
   
    I tend to judge my relationships with people by the relationship they have with other people... Meaning, just because A was best friends with B, and I also had a somewhat friendship with B, I felt like I ought to have the same friendship with B that they had with A. 
   
   Does that make any sense?? 
   
   You need to know people and relate with them on your own individual relationship with them, and not base it on someone else's relationship with them. It takes time and effort to become close with someone, you can't skip over anything, or wish you had someone else's relationship with them. You need to take your own time and your own effort to build that individual relationship.
   
   Like... With God. You can't become best friends with Him only on the fact that your parents or friends are close to Him. You need to know Him through your own relationship with Him. You can't skip that process of "getting-to-know-you".  Know God. Have a relationship with Him that is completely His and yours, and not based off someone else's personal relationship with Him. You need to be diligent in spending time with Him, like you would with a person you want to get to know better. Time. You aren't going to automatically have the same closeness with Him as someone else who has been in relationship with Him longer. It takes time. One step after another, day-by-day, no shortcuts. Fellowship with Him.
   
   Relationships are a dear, delicate and sought after thing. They must be nurtured and cultivated. They are not automatic. You can't skip over some parts because they're uncomfortable, you need to experience all of them, because that will shape and grow and build the relationship to be all it was meant to be. If you leave things out, or try to skip around things, it would be like building a house with pieces of foundation missing.
   
   How much time and effort you put in a relationship is how much you will get out of it. Real relationships will cost you something. Pride, letting go of fear... There will be times when it will hurt and you must give something of yourself. It is not a real relationship if you never allow the other person to see who you really are. You need to be real to each other, open and honest. Trust.




I   w r i t e   t h i s   n o t   o n l y   f o r    y o u ,   b u t   f o r   m y s e l f   a s   w e l l .

What is This Thing Called Love?

This generation is constantly seeking out the meaning of love. What is it? What is love?

According to the dictionary [on my computer], love is defined as:

• "an intense feeling of deep affection"
• "a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone"
• "a great interest and pleasure in something"
• "an affectionate greeting conveyed to someone on one's behalf"
• "a formula for ending an affectionate letter"
• "a person or thing that one loves"

We tend to use the word "love" rather flippantly. We base it on our feelings, our emotions. By today's standards Love can mean anything from, "I love cheeseburgers" to "I love you, let's get married." We use it to determine our identity. "I love cars" [Okay. So I guess that means you're really in to different types of cars.] Or, "We've been dating for a week... I think I'm in love." [Finding identity in knowing that someone is attracted to you.]

Go here : What is love?

Love is a choice. A direction of one's will. Love is sacrificial. A choice to give up something for someone. It is patient, it protects, it perseveres.

Ultimately, God is love.

1 John 4:8-11 says, "God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

This is an awesome post you should read:

www.awhitestoneblog.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/what-google-says-about-you

Did you know that in August 2010, the two most searched for phrases in Google were "Who is God" and "What is love"?

People want to know.

... Just something to think about... And act on.

"Say What You Need to Say"

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something, but were too afraid to actually tell them? 

You were afraid of what they might think of you, so you didn't say anything? 

You figured that they accepted how you were already, so if you said anything contrary to how they already thought of you, it would 

make them question whether they really wanted to get to know you after all? And because of all of this running through your head, you couldn't be yourself around them?

Ugh... Isn't it frustrating? Why do we care so much about what others think of us? 
D o e s    i t    r e a l l y    m a t t e r    t h a t     m u c h  ? 

I'm sure if you were to go around the room and ask several people, the answers would be similar. Everyone has dealt with this in one way or another.

       "What will they think of me if I say this?" 

                     We tend to put ourselves into a box when we do this.  

                Limiting 

                                      ourselves and those around us too.

I've never really thought about that before... But really. 

You are not only limiting yourself when you don't speak up, but you're also limiting those around you by not sharing your thoughts. 

You're building a wall around yourself that others can't get through.


So my charge to you is this:

Don't worry about what others may think of you. 
If you have something to say, share it with them. "Just do it." 

   

Be bold.

We need to encourage one another in this. Build each other up, and not tear down.
 If someone needs cheering up, be that person who goes out of the way to lift them up.

This is something I have to work on too, so you're definitely not alone in this. ;)

Change. Friendships. Relationships.

I wrote part of this post a few months ago on a blog I co-write with a friend. This subject is something that is close to me. You can check out the other blog at The Fourth Journal.

Okay, here it goes...

I sit here beside the open front door with a cool rainy breeze floating through the stuffy air. The blackbird is cackling, the mockingbird is ‘mocking’, and the red robin is trilling. Cars whiz by on the street, some confident and smooth, others as if they’re on their last drive. So many things I ought to be doing, but, at this moment, I can’t seem to make myself. Hmmm.

Here, let me pour you a cup of Jasmine tea. Do you see that little table by the window? Yes, the white wicker one with the tablecloth. Why don’t you go ahead and sit down while I bring the tea over? It’s no trouble at all. I am sorry about the papers, they seem to be all over the place. Ah, here you go, I’ll just set this on the saucer for you. Now, let me bring out the cookies and then we’ll be ready. There we are. Alright, let’s talk.

Change... It's hard. It’s different. Change is stepping out into the unknown, leaving what is familiar behind, and pressing forward. Change is getting out of your comfort zone. Change really can be a good thing; you wouldn't want to be in high school for the rest of your life, now would you? No way! Change is a part of growing up, it is the defining point and determines how you will be for the rest of your life. You can either change for the better or the worse. But, keep in mind, the choices you make now can determine where you will be in the future. 

Make the right decisions, choose the right friendships. If there are friends in your life who do nothing but tear you down and ridicule you, get out of that relationship, it's unhealthy. You want friends who will be there for you, who will encourage and build you up. They are the ones who want the best for you, and will tell you when you are messing up... Choose your friends wisely.  

Relationships. Lately, dating relationships have been budding up all around me, some happening to good friends. It isn’t a bad thing, it just takes time getting used to. I feel like it’s my responsibility to watch over my friends and it worries me when they aren’t careful. When it comes to marriage and finding the ‘right one’, it takes time, no rushing. Please don't fall for the first guy or girl who tells you that they "love" you. You need to know that they really, truly, deeply know what it is that they are saying. Love is a commitment. If they don't want to commit, then they probably don't love you. They're just in it for the ride.

It's easy to want to be in a dating relationship: the thrill of having someone like you, going on dates, your first kiss, not being lonely... But, remember to be yourself. Don't think that you have to act in a certain way for a specific guy or girl to like you. They need to like you for who you really are, who God created you to be. In the words of my dear friend and fellow writer, Tsahov Vered, "You do not need to change in any way except in growing closer to God. Seeking Him with all your heart and being. Rely on Him wholly." 

Even if you feel like you are really "in love", please be open to what those closest to you have to say. They are watching from an outside perspective and can see what you aren't able to see (or what you choose to ignore). Don't give your heart away so easily. Keep some mystery about yourself :). Once easily given, also easily broken. Relationships take time, trust, friendship, purity, mystery... I don't want you to have a broken heart.

Sigh, I've probably talked your ears off now, haven't I? Oh dear, I think your tea has cooled, and I see you haven't even made a dent in the cookies. Here, let me take your cup and warm it up. While I'm doing that, go ahead to the back porch and sit on one of those rocking chairs. Ah, just look at that view of the mountains. I'll join you in a minute to breathe in that sweet rainy air. Oh, and don't forget to think about what I've said! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

:)